The Burdened Blade
by KeepCalm I HaveMagic
Summary: Being Court Sorcerer meant having a sword. Not just any sword. A very powerful and dangerous sword ever to be made. Once Merlin had it, he knew that he wouldn't be able to give it up. Can his friends save him from himself, or is it to late? First in my Season Six series.
1. Chapter 1

Anyone who knew Merlin, could tell you so many good things about the warlock. They would tell you how brave he was. They would speak of his never wavering loyalty. They would smile as they talked about how happy he always was. And how he could make anyone's day brighter just with that stupid grin of his.

All that changed shortly after he became Camelot's Court Sorcerer a year ago. He was more tense. He became obsessed with reading any spell book he could get his hands on. He never slept. He only spoke to you if he wanted to speak to you. He was often rude. His face was expressionless.

Many blamed it on his sword. A sword that had forged under the most powerful spell ever known. A sword that had been rumoured to be get inside one's mind and take their burdens. Which wasn't as pleasant as it sounded.

* * *

Merlin sat at the table in his personal chambers, flipping through his most recent spell book. A book that should have been burned with its owner during the Great Purge.

The warlock was pulled away from his reading, when there was knock on the chamber doors. "Enter."

Daegal cautiously walked into his master's chambers, worried that he might be in a bad mood.

A few weeks after Merlin became Court Sorcerer, Daegal had been offered the chance to become his servant. Daegal jumped on the opportunity, but Merlin was wary on the matter. The warlock had outwardly told the king that he didn't want a servant, but Arthur had insisted.

After several months, Merlin began to get used to the idea and lengthened the younger man's list of chores. He also became harsher when things weren't done right away. The only thing that stayed the same was the bowing. Merlin hated it. He told anyone that would listen to not bow to him.

"What is it, Daegal?" Merlin asked. "I'm busy."

"King Arthur and Sir Mordred wish to speak with you in the throne room," Daegal answered.

"I'm busy," Merlin repeated.

"They said it was urgent. You're needed," Daegal insisted.

Merlin sighed as he closed his book and stood up. As he walked out the door he grabbed a black cloak and wrapped it around his body.

* * *

Arthur and Mordred stood in front the king's throne, talking while they waited for their pain in the arse of a friend.

"I'm telling you, Arthur. He won't believe us. He knows when we're lying." Mordred stated.

"He doesn't have to believe us. We just have to keep him out of his chambers long enough for Daegal to switch the sword," Arthur said.

"You do realize that I'm right here," Merlin said, making his presence known.

Both Arthur and Mordred jumped, when the warlock appeared right in front of them. Well his floating head anyways.

Merlin muttered a quick spell and removed the now visible black cloak that wrapped around him, revealing the rest of his body. "Oh and good luck with your little plan. Because my sword is not in my chambers. It's hidden."

"Merlin, that sword has done you no good. We have to get rid of it," Mordred pleaded.

Merlin laughed humourlessly. "Good luck with that. You have to have my permission. Which is something you will never have."

"The sword is corrupting you," Arthur stated. "You are not you anymore. What ever happened to clumsy idiot that used to be my servant? Whatever happened to the man who was so eager to risk his life for mine? Where did he go?"

"He's in here somewhere," Merlin replied. "You just have to find what will make him come out. But don't try to, because he still has secrets that he'd never spill to single soul."

With that said, Merlin walked away from the king and the knight and out of the throne room.

* * *

A/N: *Insert theme music*

I know. I know. I wrote Merlin in a dark way, but this story isn't giving me much choice. The plot bunnies are forcing me to write him this way.

Merlin's invisibility cloak was a nod to Harry Potter. You'll find that I'll be making recognizable references to other shows, movies and possibly books throughout this series.


	2. Chapter 2

Ten months ago:

_Merlin and Arthur stood side by side as they watched the royal forger make Merlin's sword._

_"Are you sure the is a good idea?" Arthur asked._

_"Every Court Sorcerer of Camelot I've read about had one," Merlin answered._

_"You can't even use a sword properly," Arthur pointed out._

_Merlin shrugged. "Don't need to. Once the sword is bound to me, it will guide me."_

_When Merlin learned that his predecessors all had swords of magic, he figured that it was time he had a sword of his own. He spent days looking through the royal library on how to make one. Once he figured it out, he went to Arthur and told him his plan. As soon as Arthur had agreed, they headed for the royal forge._

_"How much longer, Timothy?" Arthur asked._

_"Not much longer, Sire," Timothy answered. "Very soon Emrys can cast the spell."_

* * *

_An hour or so later the sword was ready. Arthur stood in front of Merlin, as the warlock held the sword up and began to cast the spell._

"Liga gladius ad voluntatem meam. Ipsam habeto, et deducet me in bellum gero burdrens*," _Merlin recited boldly allowing his magic to fill him up._

_The sword began to glow as it became balanced in the warlock's hand. As the glowing dimmed, the sword shrunk and transformed into a silver coin._

* * *

Five months ago:

_Merlin stood at the mouth of a cave. A cave he's visited many times in his life. He looked into the darkness as he turned a silver coin in his hand._

_He had to hide the item. He had to hide it now. Arthur and some of the knights were beginning to question his recent actions and behaviour. They were noticing the changes. Changes that weren't meant to happen._

_The warlock looked down at the coin in his hand. He thumbed the engraved words that wrapped around it:_ thánato apó pyrkagiá.

_"Death by fire," Merlin muttered as he easily translated the older langauge. He had no idea why the words were engraved on the coin or what they meant for him._

_Merlin pushed the thought to the back of his mind as he through the coin into the depths of the cave. In midair the sword began to glow gold. As it glowed it grew and transformed into his sword._

_The warlock watched as the sword fell behind a massive rock. As it hit the ground, Merlin turned and waked away from the cave._

Arthur sat with Mordred, Morgana, Gwaine, Gwen, Percival and Leon in one of the guest chambers. After making sure the room was clear of Merlin and his eavesdropping techniques, the seven of them got down to business.

"The only way to get rid of the sword is for Merlin to do it at his own free will," Mordred stated.

"He doesn't have any left. That sword has possessed him," Gwaine pointed out.

Arthur shook his head."I don't think so. At least not entirely. Merlin said that there is still a part his true self trapped away in his mind somewhere. We just have to reach him."

"How are we going to do that?" Leon asked.

"I would say for us to find out his biggest secret, but that was revealed after the ban was lifted," Gwaine said. "But we all know that he still has secrets. Things he'd never even tell Gaius."

"But his mother might," Morgana said.

"How do you know that?" Percival asked.

"When we went to Ealdor for a couple of weeks, Hunith mentioned that he told her just about everything," Morgana answered.

"Still there is the chance that he never told her," Leon pointed out.

"And there is every chance that he might have," Arthur said. "Morgana, I want you and Leon to head to Ealdor at first light. When you get there talk to his mother. If Merlin asks where you are going. We are all to say that you're going to visit a friend of your mothers. The rest of us are to keep an eye on Merlin."

After all seven of them agreed to the plan, they left the chambers. Once all of them were gone, Merlin removed his cloak. He just smirked. Not even his mother would know the secret.

Suddenly he frowned at the thought of the long kept secret. Then just as quickly as the frown appeared, it disappeared and was replaced by the an emotionless thin line.

* * *

A/N: The spell was written in Latin. Here's the translation: Bind this sword to my will. Have it guide me through battle and carry my burdens.


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin watched, from one the towers, as Morgana and Leon departed from Camelot. They were off to talk to his mother in Ealdor. They hoped that she could help, but he knew full well that she could not help.

The warlock winced as the burning pain behind his eyes returned. He felt his mind battling for control. He knew that the battle would not cease until he returned completely.

Merlin want to tell his friends how they could help him, but the sword would only make him suffer more and have him say things he would never dream of saying. He was helpless and the mercy of a stupid sword. He had no proper control over what he said and did. He could only watch and listen with horror.

He'd tried so many times to try and free himself, but it only brought him more pain and gave him less hope of ever being in control again. He wanted to give up, but his remaining will wouldn't let him.

* * *

Two days later, Morgana and Leon entered Ealdor at around noon. It didn't take long for them to spot Hunith. As soon as they did, Leon and Morgana dismounted.

Hunith had been walking back from the nearby lake with a basket full of clothing when she noticed them. She set the basket down and walked toward them. As she got closer she noticed that her son was not with them.

"Where's Merlin?" Hunith asked worriedly.

"He's fine," Morgana reassured, feeling that their coming had given the woman a horrible impression. "But he's in a bit of trouble."

"What kind of trouble?" Hunith asked.

"I think we should go back to your home and discuss this more privately," Leon suggested.

Hunith sat at the small table next to the burning fire, taking in what Morgana said about the sword. She couldn't believe that this was happening to her son. Yet at the same time she could believe it.

"I understand that it's a lot to take in, but if you know something he would never tell anyone, you have to tell us," Leon said.

"There was this one girl. The only one he thought he would ever love," Hunith answered.

"Freya?" Morgana asked.

"I guess he told you about her," Hunith stated.

"He did," Morgana nodded. "Any other secrets?"

Hunith shook her head. "No. I'm sorry. I really am."

* * *

When Leon sent word that Hunith knew nothing, Mordred and Arthur start going over past conversations they've each had with Merlin. Thinking of things he mentioned without really meaning to. Both were pacing the width of the throne room racking their memories.

"Merlin's a Dragonlord!" Mordred exclaimed suddenly.

"How does that help us?" Arthur asked.

"The Dragonlord ability is passed down from father to son, but only after the father dies," Mordred explained.

Arthur shook his head. "Merlin never met his father."

"Who was the last Dragonlord before Merlin?" Mordred asked.

"Some guy named Balinor. He died before we could get back to Camelot," Arthur answered.

"Then how did you get rid of Kilgharrah?" Mordred asked.

"I struck him with my spear. He knock me out as he flew away, according to Merlin and the dragon himself," Arthur remembered.

"Will you quit being a dollophead and look at the facts in front of you? Merlin lied to about what happened to the dragon, because he ordered it to leave. He could only do that because his father, the last Dragonlord at the time, had died. Balinor is Merlin's father," Mordred explained as if he talking to a child. "Balinor is Merlin's secret. He probably never even told his mother that he knew his father."

Arthur was a bit taken back at Mordred calling him a 'dollophead'. Normally only Merlin could call him that and get away with it. But as of recent months the only insults he had received from the man were not some very good ones. When the king got past the name calling, he put the pieces Mordred had given him and the memories from the time he and his former servant spent with Balinor together, like a puzzle.

"We need to speak with Merlin." Arthur announced.

* * *

A/N: Short chapter, I know. This going to be a short but intense story with twists and turns. Don't worry though my futures stories will be longer, because I will be spending a lot of time and hard work on them.


	4. Chapter 4

Arthur and Mordred walked into Merlin's chambers and found him staring out the window. Which the two found odd, because he was always at his table.

Merlin didn't even turn to look at them, he just spoke. "Hello Arthur. Hello Mordred."

"We know about Balinor. We know that he's your father," Mordred stated.

"I would congratulate you, but you're wrong. Gaius knows about Balinor as does anyone else who knows how to use a brain," Merlin responded, flatly. "It was a pitiful but worthy attempt sending them to Merlin's mother. Not even she knows his secret. Also if you've done your research, you'll know that if you force the secret out of us, both of us will die. You wouldn't risk that would, Arthur? Even after going through such great lengths to save him from the Disir?"

The way Merlin spoke, scared the two men. It was if the sword had taken complete control. Merlin was no more. The sword was just using his body as a vessel.

"Give us back Merlin," Mordred demanded.

"Merlin is gone," the false Merlin sneered. His voice sounding like a blade cutting the flesh of human. "His will is mine. He can never return. He can only watch as I destroy everything he loves. Only after I'm done will I free him. And once he sees what I forced him to do, he'll take his own life. After he is dead, I will find a new body to live in. I will control them and their thoughts. Prehaps someone of royalty. This how I will rule the kingdoms."

Arthur was very very angry. Hell, he felt downright murderous. He wanted Merlin back. He wanted the idiot, who stood by his side in every battle, back. And he was going to get him back one way or another.

"I didn't save you. I saved Merlin!" Arthur exclaimed. "I saved my best friend. I saved the man who willingly puts his life on the line to save mine. I saved the idiot who could never followed orders. I saved the one person who told me what I needed to be told, not what I wanted to hear. That is the man I saved. I didn't save the monster he turned into after he picked up that sword and incanted that stupid spell."

Merlin turned and looked Arthur. He said nothing. He just looked straight into Arthur's eyes, trying to see if he was lying.

"Mordred leave us," Arthur said, not breaking eye contact with Merlin.

The Druid quickly left the room, but remained outside the door.

Silence passed between the king and the warlock. Neither daring to speak, but both curious as to what the other was thinking.

After some time passed, Merlin spoke. "That wasn't the only time you saved me, Arthur. I mean all the times you saved me, I can count on my hands, but for all the times I saved you, I'd need probably need every single hand in the kingdom."

"Merlin?" Arthur asked. He was really hoping that it was his best friend talking and not the monster he became.

Merlin nodded. "I'm back for now. The sword thinks I'm saying goodbye. It's given me enough to do that, so we don't have long, Arthur. The sword will take over again soon."

"What's the secret?" Arthur questioned.

Merlin shook his head. "There isn't one. You have to destroy the sword itself in order to save me."

"Where is it hidden than?" Arthur urged.

"The cave where Uther held Kilgharrah prisoner," Merlin answered. "You have to melt the whole thing. There can't be a single trace of it left. If there is, it can come back."

"What will happen to you?" Arthur questioned, worried for his best friend.

Merlin shook his head. "I don't know. Just go, now. Find the sword, flip it through the air, catch it then melt it. Alone."

Arthur looked at Merlin and saw that he was beginning to struggle with the sword that was possessing him, before turning to leave.

* * *

Arthur stood between what used to be the chains that held the Great Dragon prisoner, and a fire. On top of the pile of chains was the sword took control of Merlin's mind.

Arthur reached for the sword, only to realize that it was out of his reach. He quickly took out his sword and reached with it. As soon as the two swords touched, Arthur's sword burned in his hand, causing him to drop it.

Deciding not to use his sword again, the king began to climb the pile of chains. When he was able to reach the sword, he grabbed it by the hilt and climbed back down. As his feet hit the ground he tossed the sword in the air and watched as it flipped twice.

As the sword came back down, it transformed into its coin form. Arthur caught the silver coin and tossed it into the fire.

* * *

On the other side of the castle, Mordred watched as Merlin battled for his own mind. Soon the battle ceased when Merlin fell to his knees and clutched his head in pain. The Druid knight wanted to be by his friends side, but both Merlin and the sword warned him to keep a distance.

* * *

Arthur watched as the coin fought against the fire at first, but slowly succumbed to its flames and began to melt. Once it was completely melted, Arthur picked up his sword and made his way out of the cave.

* * *

Merlin's brain felt like it was on fire, and according to the sword it was in a manner of speaking. As soon he felt the burning, he knew that the sword was being destroyed and that he could have his mind back. He just didn't know what the immediate aftermath was going to be.

* * *

As the melted remains began to disappear into nothing, Merlin collapsed and began to convulse. Less than a minute later the warlock's body went limp and he was unconscious.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been three days, since Arthur had destroyed the sword that took over Merlin's mind and since the warlock, himself, fell ill.

Merlin had yet to wake from the events that took place. Gaius feared that the young man never will. Even if he did wake up, he would not be the same. His mind would not be whole. It was going to take miracle for him to fully recover.

Whenever someone had the chance, they would sit by Merlin's bedside and keep vigil. Arthur and Mordred stayed the most. Both of them felt guilty for not being able to help soon enough.

When ever Mordred was with Merlin, he go through Merlin's books and scrolls, hoping find a way to cure the older warlock, but found nothing.

* * *

After seven more days had passed, Merlin still did not wake. Everyone in the castle was fearing and preparing for the worse. All accept Mordred. Mordred just knew that Merlin was going to be okay, because he was Emrys. Emrys was always okay.

After going through the last book Merlin had, Mordred got on his horse and rode to the cave where he knew a certain dragon dwelled.

Darkness was claiming the sky, just as Mordred arrived at the large cave. With his head and part of his neck sticking out the cave, the dragon acknowledged the Druid's presence.

"What caused you to seek me out? Not even Merlin knows of my location," the dragon said.

"Merlin fell ill ten days ago, Kilgharrah. He won't wake up. Everyone fears that he won't live," Mordred stated.

"But you think different?" Kilgharrah asked.

Mordred nodded as he began explaining the sword that took over Merlin's mind. He spoke of how when Arthur destroyed it, the warlock reacted very badly to the events.

"I have searched through all his books and could not find a way to cure him. Will you please help me save him?" Mordred pleaded.

"You are not a Dragonlord, yet you have the courage and the strength of one," the Great Dragon stated. "You also have the heart of one."

"So you'll help?" Mordred asked hopefully.

"I will give you an enchantment that will save Merlin," Kilgharrah agreed. "Arthur and Camelot still need him."

The Great Dragon gave Mordred the enchantment and hoped he was successful.

* * *

As dawn broke across the sky, Mordred rode through the gates of Camelot and into the courtyard. There he dismounted his horse and ran back into the castle, towards Merlin's chambers.

When Mordred stepped into the chambers he found Morgana sleeping with her head on the bed and her hand in Merlin's. The Druid quietly walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

Morgana woke up in an instant, and looked over at Mordred with a startled look in her eyes.

Mordred removed his hand from her shoulder. "Sorry Morgana. I did not mean to scare you."

Morgana smiled sadly. "It's okay."

"How is he?" Mordred asked looking at Merlin.

Morgana looked at Mordred for a second more, than at Merlin's pale sleeping face. "He's breathing is slowing down and he's cold. Gaius thinks he doesn't have much longer."

The Druid nodded grimly. He had to act now. "Can you let go of his hand?"

"Why?" Morgana asked.

"I have a spell that will save him," Mordred answered. "So please move your hand away from his."

After Morgana released Merlin from her grip, Mordred placed his hand over Merlin's forehead and recited the enchantment Kilgharrah gave him. Once he was done, they watched in awe as colour returned the warlock's face and his breathing returned to normal.

Morgana stood up and hugged Mordred. "You did it."

Mordred returned the hug. "We'll have to wait for him to wake up."

Morgana pulled away from Mordred. "I'll go tell the others. You stay here and watch him."

The young knight nodded. "Yes my Lady."


	6. Chapter 6

A few hours later, when Merlin woke up, it was just him, Mordred and Arthur. Arthur had sent everyone else away so not to confuse and upset the warlock.

After explaining to Merlin that he had been unconscious for ten days, Arthur asked, "How do you feel, Merlin?"

"Fine," Merlin answered.

"What do remember about the other night?" Mordred asked.

Merlin was silent for a bit as he remembered telling Arthur about the sword and fighting for his own mind. He remembered the pain he suffered. He remember everything from the second the sword lessened its grip. He didn't want to remember.

"Nothing," the warlock lied.

Mordred and Arthur shared a worried glance. They could tell that Merlin was lying, but decided not to say anything about it.

"What about the past year?" Arthur asked.

"I remember how I treated people," Merlin replied.

Arthur shook his head. "That wasn't you. That was the sword."

"I should have done more research before. If I had none of this would have happened," Merlin stated.

"No amount of research could have stopped this," Mordred consoled. "I looked for any kind of record on something happening like this and found nothing."

Merlin smiled a bit, feeling some of the guilt leave him, but not all.

* * *

Later that day, Merlin found himself staring down at the courtyard through an open window as he sat on the windowsill. All day people had been coming in and out of his chambers, visiting. All of them said that it was a miracle he was alive. When he asked Morgana about it, she told him what Mordred did.

Merlin knew Mordred better than anyone else did. He knew that there wasn't spell strong enough that could have healed his damaged mind. The warlock wondered how he did it. At first he thought that it was the Cup of Life, but quickly dismissed it because no one knows where the Cup is. Well except for him, anyways.

After racking his brain with further theories he came up with the only possible, but highly unlikely explanation. Merlin had asked Daegal to go get Mordred. Some time later Mordred came. They discussed the theory Merlin thought up. It didn't take long for Mordred to admit to finding the dragon and asking for help.

Now Merlin sat looking out the window, trying to think of anything but the guilt that was eating him up inside. Mordred may have healed him, but that didn't change the fact that he hurt people. Maybe not physically, but he still hurt them. He didn't know how many people, though. He was pretty sure that he didn't want to know.

He tried to tell Arthur that he wanted to publicly apologize, but the king said no, since none of it was him. He had been possessed by the sword that took his will and used it against him.

"Once things return to normal, I'm storing all of this memory into a deep dark corner of my mind," Merlin promised himself.

Outside in the courtyard the warlock, noticed Mordred and Gwaine walking by. They both seemed to be having a deep conversation. Merlin was going to wonder they were talking about, but it took him no more than a second to realize that it they were probably talking about him. Everyone in the castle and the Lower Town were talking about him and his recovery. He didn't know what they were saying about it, and really didn't care. He didn't care what people said about him, he never did. Why should he start now?

Just then, Gaius walked in, interrupting his thought process. Merlin glanced at him and nodded, before looking out the window again.

"Something on your mind, Merlin," Gaius asked, worried for his nephew.

Merlin shook his head as he got up from the windowsill. "Just people watching. What's going on?"

"Just coming see how you are?" Gaius answered.

"As the Court Physician or as my uncle?" Merlin asked as he sat at the table.

"Little bit of both," Gaius replied. "How do you feel?"

"I'm remembering more and more of the past year. Things I don't want to remember," Merlin said.

"You know that it's none of your fault, right?" Gaius asked.

"That's what everyone keeps telling me," Merlin stated. "I still don't understand how the sword possessed me."

"I've been doing some research on the spell you used. By binding your will to the sword, you brought it to life, in a sense. My guess is that it knew everything you knew, including some rather dark things you wish to forget. That was its way into your head. Once it took hold of your mind, it attempt to act on every single dark thought, but realized it couldn't, because you wouldn't let it happen," Gaius explained. "If you hadn't fought the sword every step of the way, you might have done worse things."

"A burdened blade that needed a mind to control," Merlin simply said.

* * *

A/N: Okay confession time, I was originally going to call this story "The Possessive Pointy Thing".


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: In case you haven't figured it out yet, I deleted 'Old Faces, Bad Dreams'. I have decided to take break from this series. So that mean this series is on hiatus. Don't freak. I'll come back. I need to work on the story and make it better. Only problem is that I probably won't put it up again until probably after the summer.

I wish I didn't have to make you wait so long, but my family is going on an internet-free vacation. At least I'll be allowed to bring my laptop to work on the story. Unfortunately I can't post it.

For now I say goodbye and enjoy rereading the stories I have already posted.


End file.
